Open post
comparison-is-the-thief-of-joy

Facebook ‘Friend’ or Phony?

In this day and age, social media is predominant in our lives. I can’t speak for all social platforms but I do know that Facebook is the number one form of social media with about 900,000,000 people using it around the world! Facebook can be a wondrous place for keeping in touch with friends and family EVERYWHERE. We can share pictures, post updates, share news and information, ask for help, reconnect, find recipes, etc. etc. It can be very addicting. What on earth did we do before Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest?!

With anything of this capacity there can also be drawbacks. I have witnessed many a’ catty arguments, rude comments, and some pretty intense rants. The most innocent culprit I would say though would be our own judgement of ourselves and each other. The ‘good’ ole comparison game.

For example, your friend goes on another exotic vacation sans children. <You wondered how long it would take her to post about her ‘super-fun’ time.> She is laying on a beach with her man beside her, <naturally it is minus one thousand degrees here…> The water looks crystal clear and the sky has never looked so blue. <She is obviously having the BEST time ever.> She is relaxing with not a care in the world. Her picture looks like a post card. You know the one where you can see their bronzed legs and feet, the sand and a strategically placed slush drink with an umbrella. Oh and of course the book casually laying on their lap. It is difficult not to be jealous when yet again, you are strapped for cash. <How do they do it all the time?> <Who watches their kids?>

We have all felt Facebook inspired pangs of jealousy from time to time. These envious feelings have to do with the comparison between ourselves and our ‘friends’ or dare I say our distant online acquaintances in many instances? We get jealous of their better job, their perfect home, the awards, promotions etc. etc. We can even beginning judging each other’s business pages.

I just have to say that most people when they post on Facebook are putting their best foot forward. They are rarely writing a status that talks of their latest dinner time struggle getting the kiddos to eat. You won’t often hear about an argument between a husband and wife splashed all over the page, and are you going to admit that really embarrassing thing that you did today? Not likely. You are more likely to post the amazing recipe that you or your hunny made, the romantic thing that your significant other did, pictures of a well put together family.

Let me tell you that it is a-ok. You don’t know what happens behind closed doors. You don’t know what struggles people have. That well put together person may be falling apart behind that screen. She may have major feelings of inadequacy. Remember we generally only see each other’s highlights. The good stuff. Not the bad and the ugly! The real skinny is everyone has their own shit, their own struggles, and their own pile of stuff to sift through. It is called a normal life!

comparison-is-the-thief-of-joy

I just read a post by Jon Acuff that said, “Inspiration tells you anything is possible. Comparison tells you everything is impossible.” He went on to say that, “Inspiration drives you forwards. Comparison pulls you backward. Inspiration tells you there’s still time to accomplish something amazing while comparison tells you it’s too late.” Full post here http://acuff.me/2015/01/inspiration-vs-comparison/

So how do we get out of this trap? It’s really quite simple and might take some practice. But here’s what you do…ready for it? You celebrate others. Let me repeat. You plain and simply celebrate others. You try and be happy for them. 

Start to want the best for others and hey maybe they will also want the best for you. What a lovely little thought! So next time your buddy posts a success, gets that major opportunity, or goes on the trip of a lifetime. Dig deep and celebrate with them. Xxxxx

comparing

Wishing you the BEST Xxxx,

Krystal

Open post
Technology-social-media

Confessions

Technology-social-media

Confession…

I was a Facebook addict. Sounds ridiculous right? Facebook otherwise known as Crackbook by some had my attention several times a day. And not just Facebook either. I HAD to have my phone by my side at all times as if it were my lifeline. If I misplaced my phone it would cause me great anxiety. I would have to check emails and Facebook first thing in the morning and last at night plus during the day. I would pick up my phone whenever I heard that little ding to remind me that I had a new message or another email.

 

ad·dict

transitive verb \ə-ˈdikt\

Definition of ADDICT

:  to devote or surrender (oneself) to something habitually or obsessively

 

photo 1 (3)

 

Technology nowadays makes it really easy to have everything at the touch of our finger tips. Social media sites, email, web pages, music, news, weather and more are readily available with computers, laptops, net-books, tablets and phones. There are many, MANY debates regarding the pros and cons of technology. In terms of users there are those that aren’t comfortable with or choose not to use technology. There are people that use technology only when they have to; maybe for work or the occasional correspondence. Some have a cell phone only for emergency purposes. Then there are those that use technology several times a day. They may be the gamers, use it for their jobs, like playing with all the latest techie tools, or might be very social with the use of it. Whatever the case, it is all around us.

I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer for how much each individual should use technology. It is all a very personal decision. For me when it got to the point where my kids would be frustrated because I wasn’t 100% present and I was getting distracted for far too long then I knew that it was time to change. I was also really tired of all of the posts telling me what I should eat, what I should wear, how to parent and the list goes on and on. I was not a happy camper. I had been toying with the idea of a Facebook detox for a long time. I had also decided that at this point I needed to take a break from posting on our webpage too (which most of that is connected between Facebook and our site). For me it was the right time to focus on my health and relationships. Getting caught up and pouring hours into our posts cut down on time for other things. I needed a break from online to create a bigger presence and more meaning in my relationships.

 

photo 1 (1)

Not to say that I wouldn’t have done these things while still being active on Facebook because I still would have been active with workouts, and doing things with friends BUT I was able to squeeze in more running than I had, extra workouts, more time with friends and family. It was quite eye opening really. I love Facebook for keeping in touch, sharing experiences, inspirations and advice but I also know that it is great to live outside of the screen and I just needed that break to remember what other great things I could accomplish.

I am not sorry for stepping away from Simple Life to evaluate what I wanted and didn’t want from our business. I do not feel like I missed out on a whole bunch either from staying off of social media for over a week. I am happy that I got to have more coffee dates rather than texting dates. I know what’s right for me is to step away now and then, follow my feelings, post when it does not feel forced and remember that relationships are what will always be needed in life. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy Facebook, texting, emailing and posting but for me there definitely has to be a break from technology at times.

I know I am not alone; I read a statistic that said that ¼ of FB users checked their accounts 5 or more times a day. And considering there are over 1.2 billion users that is a LOT of time online. I also read that ¼ of smartphone users don’t remember the last time that they did not have their phones with them. (Hopefully they are not taking them in to the shower and to bed!) Is this time on Social Media concerning? I think that it could be and everyone needs to evaluate that for themselves.

 

 

text

 

 

What can you do?

If this is a concern for you then there are a few things that may help you.

~ admit that there is a problem. Ask yourself if you are present in your families lives; in fact ask them!

~ figure out why you go on social media in the first place. Is it for connection? Are you bored?

~ find a balance between online and offline interactions.

~limit your time. Check your email only at certain times of the day. Limit social media time.

 

This video is humorous and eye opening.

 

What are your thoughts on social media? Do people abuse it?

 

Credit to Becoming Minimalist
Credit to Becoming Minimalist

 photo 2 (9)