I’m getting better at just listening.
Not the kind of listening where you’re hearing what they’re saying but you’re already thinking about what you’re going to say.
Not the kind of listening where you are smiling and nodding but are secretly checking your phone or checking things off on your mental to do list.
Not the kind of listening where you’re constantly interjecting with a contradiction or an example “one-upmanship”.
I’m getting better at the kind of listening where I don’t notice my phone going off.
The kind of listening where I am hearing the story; seeing how the story-telling is making the other person feel. I notice the things she doesn’t say. I see the gears turning as she considers the next thing she is going to say.
The kind of listening where it’s no longer about me. Where it’s about the connection, this moment, right here where someone is sharing a part of their world.
The kind of listening where I no longer judge what she says. Where I just see her for who she is at this moment in time. And we each are better for it.
That’s the kind of listening I want more of. Not me speaking. I do enough of that here in my writing and with people all around me. I want more of that real connection. I want that person in front of me, no matter how scared or hurt she is to be able to turn to me and be able to open up. To be able to share even just a little bit of her story and be assured that she will not be judged. So that she can begin to heal. That she is safe here.
This is my Core Desired Feeling: Connection. And this is why I love Divine Goddess Book Club, in whatever way it manifests itself: 1 or 10 people or even some day 100 or 1000’s.
It’s so much more than talking about a book. In fact, many times we find ourselves not even really talking about it; it’s just a conversation starter. It has become a curling up around a fire, quiet corner of light in an ocean of darkness where I can just listen. That is why I love it.